A wild border-crossing adventure in Central America

... I'm running in the middle of the highway in company of my dog Lana. I have a bag of salty chips in one hand, a cheap lantern in the other, two massive backpacks carrying my gypsy life with the last four months of nomadic travels in Central America in it, and my acoustic guitar hanging from my right elbow. All the roads are completely and illegally blocked. Along them are uncountable trailers, parked in diagonal across all lanes. Most of them are parked one after the other as small fires by the side of the road are wildly burning. All of this is happening while I'm desperately trying to make it to the Tapachula airport across the border between Guatemala and Mexico, to catch a flight to Mexico city. I'm still, miles away from the airport, walking along a scenario that I have only yet seen in movies. I'm praying in every step, to be guided trough this surreal madness to my destination as I keep spotting wild looks from local drivers along the side of the road, standing next to their parked trailers with machetes and wood sticks in hand, holding down an improvised blockade across the highway. -"Wtf is going on?!?!"- I ask to myself, while rushing with Lana by my side, attempting to get to the border by foot. We are trying to catch a plane scheduled to leave in less than two hours, after being forced to jump off and leave behind a taxi that was supposed to take us all the way there from my original point of departure, Lake Atitlan. Sometimes, the essence of your journey, lies at the last piece of a story that resumes the entire chapter of your last trip, just before heading back " Home ". And this is how this chapter started... After backpacking for about 4 months in Central America and spending some time in a small village at Lake Atitlan in Guatemala, a truly unique and beautiful place where the Mayans believed, was the birthplace of life itself millennial of years ago. I booked a flight to Mexico City from Tapachula airport, because of how ridiculously affordable the ticket turned out to be and to my astonishment, it came along with a privet local taxi that would take me all the way there. All the way from the small town where I was staying in Lake Atitlan, called San Marcos, to the airport located in Tapachula, across the Guatemalan and Mexican border. I know what are you thinking : "How in hell did you ever think this sounded like a good idea?". Like I said... price was ridiculously cheap and I just could not resist the chance for a little road trip before flying back home to Mexico City. So, I meet my driver at 1pm sharp in a cafe. We then walk together through the 1 single street in town towards the car. After exchanging a few sentences, I'm coming to learn that my driver does not only does not has a passport, but neither the right paperwork to be able to make it across the border (because Tapachula airport lies in Mexican ground); 2 things that I SPECIFICALLY asked on the phone, before booking the trip : " A driver that will take me all the way to the Tapachula airport from the Lake"- I said to the travel agent - and he replied: "Yes, he we will take you there"..... Well... surprise amigos ! I didn't really have any other choice as I had already paid for the trip; and my flight was scheduled to depart in exactly 8 hours. I carried on anyway towards the car with Lana and all my mercado of bags. Then I asked my driver if he knew exactly which route to take to get as soon as possible to the airport. He nervously smiled and nodded, giving me the impression that he was actually not too sure about it... Hmmm... Just to be sure, I ask him to wait a few minutes so I can head back to the cafe to get service and load in our route in Google maps. I didn't have any more data, so I was completely relying on my driver to catch this flight all the way across the Guatemalan border. Better have a little assurance that we were going to head on the right direction.

By the time we're starting the trip I'm already 30m late, but no worries, it is a 4h drive and we have almost 7h o get to the airport so, plenty of time to get there. And I ask to myself : "What can possibly go wrong, right ?!" As we jump in the car and start driving out out town, he explains to me that he cannot actually cross me over the Guatemalan border but that as soon as we get there, he will be contacting some one else in the other side that will take me to the airport once I cross over costumes by foot. This actually sounds good to me as he seems to be confident about it. We continue driving and only 10m after our departure, we bumped into some sort of blockade. Some locals decided to close the ONLY road that takes any vehicle in and out of town because: "They are angry with the government"... great way to start this trip, lol. It takes us around 20m to convince them to move the blockade for us. As soon as they let us pass, my heart feels a breeze of relieve like sweet cold air on a hot summer day, just to find about 10m after, that there is a second blockade up the road !. This time we are in real luck. The driver knows the locals that were holding down the barricade. So with only a few words and a handshake, they let us drive through ! As we drive away from the curvy downhills of San Marcos and Lake Atitlan, I take a look back to see some of the blockade holders, parking back a massive van on diagonal across the 2 lane road, blocking once more, the only pathway for the rest of the people coming behind us in cars, motorcycles, mini taxis called TukTuks and even bikes, trying to get out town. I feel a true breeze of relieve and luck, blowing my worries away as we move forwards without any other sign of trouble. By the time we hit the main highway, I already lost 1h. But no worries. What could go wrong? We still have PLENTY of time to get to the airport across the border... Or at least, that's what I thought. We drive for about 4h, following the road that according to my driver, is the fastest one in order to make it to the border in no time. Closer to what it was supposed to be the end of the trip, according to the time it would take us to get to the border, we start sighting trailers after trailers, parked slightly off road next to the right lane in which we're all supposed to be driving. There are tooooooons of them, just parked by the side of the road, on a line that seems to go for MILES & MILES. We drive for another 20m, speeding trough mostly cars, trucks and motorcycles, parked also by the side of the road along all kinds of other vehicles; until we finally get to a point were we simply find ourselves on total stop. We've arrived to a street conjunction where the road is completely blocked by traffic and there is apparently, nowhere else to go. After about 30m of complete stillness, I decide to get out of the car while seeing my driver a few cars ahead of us, giving directions to other drivers in front of us to try to make some sort of pathway, so we can move through. I ask one of the drivers of one of the parked trailers how long has he been in there without moving... He looks at me with an indifferent kind of look and tells me that he has been there since 4am... 4am !!! It is almost 7pm !!! I'm perplex ! Ok, so NOW I'm starting to freak out... O look at my phone; I have 2h and a half left to get to the freaking airport; and we are still 1h away of driving. If there is any driving happening still.

Somehow, after some MacGyver chess maneuver skills from my driver, most of the cars ahead of us move aside and we jump like puppies on mud back inside the car to sprint trough the tight space that just opened in the middle of all the traffic. We find ourselves, driving at a pretty high speed, right in the middle of the highway that has just magically opened for us, after what felt like an eternity of being blocked again. After driving for a bit, guess what...? We encounter ANOTHER dead end. But this time, my driver decides to take a side dirt road that is running parallel to the main one. We spend about 15m on this side road, driving through dirt and ditches, surrounded by corn fields, cows, donkeys and some random sheep, until we end up asking to some random pedestrians for directions, after getting lost for about 3 times. We end up finding back the main highway that leads to the border and to our surprise, is almost empty !!! There are still tons of big cargo trailers parked on the side of the road; I must have count at least a hundred as we drove by them all. But the highways is all clear of blockades, cars and no signs of any more dead ends! Until suddenly, after a big curve on the road that seemed to extend for about a mile, we get to a place that looks just like those you see only in those vintage, apocalyptic end-of-the-world movies. The highway ends with another huge trailer parked in diagonal, blocking the entire road. There are big, massive fires by both sides of it, burning from mountains made by used old truck tires with big clouds of black smoke rising up into the sky. There are trees, branches and rocks, used furniture, barb wire and all kinds of stuff right on the highway and all across it, obstructing any kind of space to go trough. There. isa minimum ammount of space to go through but it seems like not even the TukTuks (tiny 4 well moto-taxis) are able to go through. The only 2 words that are crossing my mind are : “F***K ME”. I get out of the car and I tell the driver: "Let me go see what's going on beyond this barricade", while walking towards the big trailer. As I pass by it, I notice the looks from men around, standing by the side of the road, clearly in charge of the illegal barricade. I hear whistles from some of them too, also giving me heavy looks. I look around, realizing that some of them have machetes and sticks in their hands, some sitting, some others standing still by the side of the road. I pretend to keep my cool, walking like I know what I'm doing as I make my way between the trailer and the barricade. To my surprise, no one does neither says anything to me. Then, after walking about 10 meters by the other side of the big trailer, I come to see the Full-On Mission-Freaking-Impossible that it looks to be the idea of trying in any way, to drive through this mad scene. I mean... For real, I'm not joking when I say this: The scenario I'm staring at is literally coming from a freaking movie ! And... this is not even the craziest part of this story! Hang on because..... shit is just about to go down !!! I stop for a second, trying to take it all in, trying to make any sense of my reality in this moment while watching this surreal scene of mad drivers, wild fires burning on both sides of the road, across the highway, trailers parked on and on until what it looks like to be, a freaking infinity lineup of blockades... it seems simply impossible to come up with a rational decision to keep moving forward to my destination. I'm finding myself deeply immerse in my own thoughts between worries, ideas and a million of possible scenarios to move on from what it looks like the final and definitive dead-end, when out of the blue, I spot an elderly woman walking towards where I'm standing all the way on the far end where the last trailer is parked, with a couple hand woven bags in each hand. After a minute of watching her coming over on my direction, I decide to ran towards her to ask where is she coming from. After running for about 2m, I reach her side and then the lady tells me that she has been walking for about 45m. She then says, that at the other side of all this shit-storm, there are Tuk-Tuks that can drive me to the border. My amazement is evident ! I don't think I have ever heard such amazing news ! My face probably started to glow as I realized I had exactly 1h and 45m to get to the airport and that if this lady was telling the truth, I had great chances to still make it to the other side and catch my flight across the border ! All I had to do was walk beyond the last trailer, which was quite far but not too far and grab a TukTuk to the border. EASY ! I look to the far end and say to myself : " I can totally make it ! Tick-Tock MOTHERFUCKERS!!! " I come back to the car at full speed to Lana and the driver, which I tell : "Well, if this old lady has been walking for 45m to where some Tuk-Tuks are... I can prob. make it in 20m because If we try to get through this madness with the car, we are not getting anywhere farther than here.". I open the back of the car to get Lana, I grab my backpacks, my salty chips, my guitar, I wave to my driver and we start sprinting towards the barricade madness like freaking Forest Gump as my driver simply stares at us in silence, apparently without knowing what to say, while disappearing beyond the trailers. As we sprint by, the people standing by the side of the road holding the machetes and sticks, only pay attention to Lana with curiosity instead to this 6'1" tall, white fellow with 3 huge backpacks on his shoulder - Lana is a very peculiar rather interesting, uncommon, great looking dog - and fortunately, nobody gives us any trouble. But the sense of conflict and stress among the area was so strong on the atmosphere that I could almost taste it in the sweat of my forehead. We walk past the first trailer, then we past another one, then another one AND another one. Each one being farther apart from the last. Lana and I speed walk for probably a few miles and for at least 45m (that grandma turned to be a really fast walker, damn!) and the sun is now gone beyond the horizon. It is starting to get dark. We walk until we finally get to ANOTHER blockage where to my surprise (but not really), there are no taxis, no TukTuks, no cars, no drivers or any kind of transportation. There is absolutely nothing and no one around... Only a dude chilling under a shade of a tree about 20 meters away from were Lana and I are standing, next to what it seems to be an old rusty garage and a motorbike/tuktuk/tricicle of some sort. I don't even know how to call this vehicle-hybrid on wheels, but as it seems to be the only option of a potential transportation. I decide to head over to talk to him. After showing up sweating and panting to find shelter under the tree where this fellow is chilling, I go ahead and start sharing our situation without taking any pause. I tell about how desperate we are, coming all the way from Lake Atitlan trying to catch a flight at the other side of the border. This amigo simply looks at me and Lana like if we were just there talking about the last night episode of "Quinceañera" telenovela of the local TV channel. Somehow and without much excitement, neither any noticeable emotional reaction, he simply nods and agrees to give us a ride to on his hybrid looking vehicle, to what he explains is "The Last Blockade" and where there should be, transportation available. By the time we jump on his Guatemalan Batmobile, the sunlight is gone and it is completely dark. Btw, the Batmobile has no lights, so he hands me his phone so I can light up the road with the flashlight as we get to the "Last Blockade" and we, once more, after driving for about 10/15m on a clear highway, we finally arrive to what it seems to be: -THE FINAL LEVEL - with, - THE FINAL BOSS -. And one more time, to my perplexity, I witness a scene that I remember seen in one of those Mad Max movies when I was a kid, where the world has seem to come to an end and there. is only groups of steampunk rebels and scavengers fighting for water and food and land....or something like that....It is a scene that is quite surreal to describe and to date, even realize, it truly, actually happened. The last blockade looks just like the other ones we have passed before, but with some noticeable "upgrades": Starting with the largest trailer EVER, parked sideways across the highway, blocking the road from end to end. Multiple fires happening by the side o the road. This ones seems to be even bigger that the other ones from the previous blockades, reaching almost the 2nd floor of some of the buildings at the side of the road. There are more people around them and there is a massive wire fence running on the side of each end of the trailer, all the way to where 2 small houses are located. I can see cars, vans and more people gathering beyond this fence where it looks like, there are actually signs of transportation.... and to my surprise, as funny it sounds, CIVILIZATION ! But wait until you read this... In the middle of the entire shibang, there is what it seems to be - THE FINAL BOSS - A huge... and I mean H U G E & overweight guy, sitting next to the wire fence on an even BIGGER and rather cozy chair-sofa, next to were what it seems to be, the only fence opening to get to the other side of this Mad Max scenario. The FINAL BOSS is sitting on his throne while holding in one hand, a gladiator spear made of rusty metal as tall as the fence, and a freaking torch in the other one... Yes, just like you just read it : A spear and a freaking, TORCH !!! Full on MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME -1985- style (a classic of classics btw)! ‘cause there are no lights around, everything is just dark, is freaking darkness out there and all we can see is the rusty fence blocking the road, the wild fires burning up high and this final boss holding a spear and a torch in the middle of it all ! I - AM - NOT - JOKING "I'm in a freaking movie"... a good one !"For real!"- I say to myself -... and just if you're wondering... Yes, I had no other choice than to walk towards the Thunderdome master to try to convince him to let us pass through his own personal barricade, like a warrior approaching the enemy on his own grounds, to establish some sort of negotiation. The only difference is that I'm certainly not a warrior, neither I'm living in a Mad Max End-of-the-world reality. I'm just a hippy looking dude carrying 3 heavy backpacks and a guitar with his dog, coming to beg for a pass across the dunes of apocalyptic trailers, so he can catch a flight back home to his mamma, lol. He looks at us as we slowly walk towards him and with a not very nice look, tells me with his head to approach. Lana and I come closer, as he holds his torch in one hand and the spear in the other and we show up with our puppy faces to explain for the 3rd time in the day, our personal telenovela. Long story short... Turns out that this Jabba the freaking Hutt from the Guatemalan Olympus, is the "Gate keeper" or better say, the "Apocalyptic Barrier Keeper" and it turns out that he absolutely -LOVES DOGS- and had one that looked just like LANA ! So, after about 30sec of him talking about his old pup, he let us pass whiteout even looking at me 'case, "Lana reminds him of his sweet dog" he says lol. And just like that.... We are finally at the other side of this mad and surreal reality ! ...

Once at the other side I see taxi-vans but asking around, I learn that none of them go to the border which it is still, about 7km away from where we are....... Godaaaamn !!! I don't know wtf else to do... I look the time on my phone. We have 1h to get to the airport, sharp ! 1h ! Running out of options after asking pretty much everyone with a van or a car, I look around and I spot a guy sitting on his motorcycle... a simple and normal size, motorcycle. As I am completely out of options. I'm like: "Fuck it !". I head towards him and I start sharing once more my own personal telenovela in the must humble and desperate ways. Doing my very best to pull off my most pristine acting skills, until the point of crying as this seems to be our only and last chance for a ride... ( I want to thank to my acting teacher ) :

"Hermano, help me out, pleaaaase !!! I'm desperate ! And something along the lines of : " We've been walking for almost 12 hours straight ! ". " I'll pay you 100Q if you take us to the border !!! " "Obi-Wan-Kenobi, you are our only hope !"

As I'm done talking, he simply looks at me, looks at Lana... Looks back at me... Looks back at Lana.

Then looks back at me again !!! lol

And he says... Indifferently : "Ok". "Ok" ?!?

... Did he just say "OK"?! ALRIGHT THEN !!! He jumps on the bike. I give him one of my back packs, which he carries on his chest at the front, I grab Lana and I sit her in complete vertical position with her front paws on the shoulders of the back of our new driver. Then I sit behind Lana, with my huge backpack on my shoulders on the freaking motorcycle, my guitar in the other one and with my only free hand I hold on to the driver by the side... while hugging Lana. And we take OFF ! The 3 of us... on a motorcycle ! Btw... Lana is NOT a small dog; she is a 65 pounds, adult Catahoula Leopard Dog. So you can go figure the scene ! Lana enjoys the ride as if she has ridden on a motorcycle many, many times before. Smiling with half of her tongue dangling in the wind while I'm totally freaking out in the back, trying not to fall off the bike in every bump and hole that we are stumbling on the road, squeezing as hard as I can, the half seat that is left under my butt... Jessssssssuuussss !!! Our driver look's back at me after about 7m of riding to tell me that he's gonna take me to the Mexican border control straight up, but in order to do that, he has to first "avoid" the Guatemalan control by taking a "Privet road" instead. Hmm... In other words, the private road turns out to be a clandestine off-road around the Guatemalan border control, for people that want to "skip" costumes and get straight to the Mexican border instead. We miraculously make it without a single scratch and/or incident. Lana and I get off the bike and ... As crazy as it sounds... I see hundreds, literally HUNDREDS of undocumented people camping/living inside the Mexican border with nothing more than blankets and cardboard boxes just there, waiting. It is quite the scene... Hundreds of them apparently camping, living inside the Mexican border control. With a mesmerizing look, Lana and I walk through a fenced hallway that leads to the main crossing border office. No one pays attention to us really... We walked through it like if it was our home. Well... Basically it is because I'm Mexican, but no one even seem to care about me, my bags and specially, about bringing a dog with me from Guatemala. Even after we get to the main border office, nobody asks for any kind of paperwork or medical certificates from Lana and in less than 1m, the officer stamps my passport, welcomes both of us and WE - ARE - IN ! I see the clock... We have 35m to get to the airport ! We can still make it ! Tick the Fucking Tuck yo ! We start walking one more time but now, literally in Mexico. We go around asking for any cabs or any kind of transportation that can potentially take us to the airport. A taxi driver tells me that the airport is pretty far away and taking us all the way there would cost us about $1,600 pesos (wchich it is about $100usd) !!! And I'm like... Dude, amigo... GTFOH ! We walk around the block to finally find another guy that is willing to take me an Lanita for $400 pesos. BAM ! But then he tells me that the airport is about 45m away... So I ask him: " How fast can you drive for an extra $200 pesos ? " He smiles and tells me that if that's the situation, we can make it in 20 minutes, lol. I love Mexico ! So noooooooooow.... We have successfully made it from freaking Mad Max Apocalypse, to insane Fast and the Furious !!! We jump in the taxi and BANGARANG !!! Here we go, riding like lightning !!! I see the clock... 25m to get there ! Road is clear, no traffic, no trailers, no motherfucking barriers or apocalyptic guatemalan gladiator dudes with torches and shit, ALL CLEAAAAAAAAR, YEEESSSS !!! We are actually going to MAKE IT !!!!! Cannot believe it !!! With Lana in the back, backpacks and guitar safe, I sit comfortably and for the first time in the entire day, I start to actually... relax, even tho we are driving around 140 miles/hour. I'm enjoy the breeze as our new driver, the 4th one of the day, Mexican Dominic Toretto, speeds up towards the airport. But then... Then... I feel a cold shiver crawling up my spine and my worries rise up again. I look at the clock on his dashboard and I'm like... " Wait a second ". " What time is it ? " I ask. Mexican Toretto answers : " 8:45pm ". I look at my phone... it says " 7:45pm". " 7...45... PM ?! " "7:45PM !!!!" Fuck... me... dead. It take me a minute to realize that in Mexico, is 1 hour more than in Guatemala ! And my flight is at 9pm... So... ... our flight is leaving in 15m. ... I surrender. Done. Missed the flight... ...didn't make it NADA

...game fucking over. Life wins... ... godddaaammmmiiiiittttttt. ... We get to the airport in exactly 20 minutes thanx to Toretto. I am feeling completely defeated but at the same time, relieved that I don't have to rush and fight against time anymore. There is nothing else to do rather than to walk in and to show up with Lana, my mercado of bags with my looser face at the counter of the airline: - "Hey guys... Hmmm... I... missed my flight "- I say. The people at the counter look at me, they look at each other, they look back at me and I’m like .... -" Ahhh... Yes...? "-. They stare at me and say.... -" You’re 45m late you know that ? "- " Oh Reaaaaaaaaaaaally....? "I say. (Like if I didn't know Sherlock). " Yes, but... The plane is still here and the passengers haven't board it yet " " SAY WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?! " "THE PLANE IS STILL HERE?!?!?!" ... So... Short story long: The plane had to be delayed due to a tire malfunction and it had to be replaced and this, took the airline about 1h30m to do so. So, thanks to this technical issue, we were able to board the plane at the same time as the passengers that were waiting for almost 2h to board the plane. WE - FREAKING - MADE IT !!! I cannot even try to explain to you, the feelings that Lana and I experienced once we were actually sitting in the plane, taking off. UN - F****NG - BELIEVABLE! ... From my perspective, life just wanted me to struggle ONE - LAST - TIME, before wrapping it out with a strenuous and stressful "Finale"; with the kind of action and drama and specially, a SCENARIO of which only movies are made of. Thank you life... I love your sense of depravation. Cannot wait for our next border adventure with you! With apocalyptic gratitude and love,

Diego & Lana Ps. And to you, dear reader. For making it all the way to the bottom of this, our wild adventure across borders.